How To Still Enjoy The Holidays While Grieving For Deceased Loved Ones

The holidays are fast approaching, and while it is a joyous wondrous time for many, it’s isn’t so jolly and or festive to others. The holidays are especially hard for people who are grieving the loss of loved ones during them. To them, the holidays are not quite the same without their deceased loved ones, and never will be again. I’m one of the people who will be grieving the loss of deceased family members during the holidays this year. Thanksgiving and Christmas have been especially hard and painful for me in the years since my mom and sister died. Thanksgiving was the last holiday I spent with my mom and my sister in different years, because they both died a week before Christmas a year and two days apart. They both loved the holidays before they got sick and died. I just loved spending the holidays and time with them. The holidays needn’t be a time that grieving people isolate themselves from the rest of the world though. Below are some tips that grieving people can use during the holidays to still enjoy the holidays while grieving their deceased loved ones.

  1. They can create new traditions in memory of their loved ones. This year, I’ll be doing something special to honor both my mom and my sister on their respective death days (December 17th and December 19th), instead of staying home and sulking in my grief and pain.
  2. They can remember that everyone won’t be grieving the same way that they are during the holidays, and that’s okay. Many of my family members weren’t as close to my mom and sister as I was, and didn’t know them the same way I did, so they won’t grieve for them the same way that I will, and that’s okay. Mother/daughter and sister bonds are special ones, and other people will not truly understand what losing one, the other, or both feel like until they lose their moms and or sisters.
  3. They can make a donation to a charity that was important to their loved ones. Every once in a while, I donate to a pancreatic cancer foundation and a heart failure foundation because my mom died of pancreatic cancer in 2017, while my sister died of congestive heart failure last year.
  4. They can pick a few special items that belonged to their family members and gift them to friends and family members of their deceased loved ones who would appreciate them. After my mom and sister died and I began to sort through their things, I gave away special items of theirs to friends and family members of theirs that I knew would cherish the items.
  5. They can skip holiday events if they are in holiday overload. If I get invited to an event during the holidays, I go by all means if I want to and am up to it. Yet, if I’m tired or start to become sad thinking about my mom and sister during the holidays, I know how to say no to invitations, stay home, and focus on myself and my emotions until I feel better, and that’s okay.

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Happy November and Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

 

24 thoughts on “How To Still Enjoy The Holidays While Grieving For Deceased Loved Ones

  1. This is a really great post. I’m going to share it with a dear friend who lost her mom and is also struggling with the upcoming holidays.
    My sincere condolences on the losses you have faced – may you find some comfort and peace over the upcoming holiday period. xx

  2. Thanks, so sorry to hear of your friend’s loss. I find comfort and peace in the memories of me and my mom and sister daily, but even more so during the holidays. May your friend find comfort and peace in the memories of her and her mom this holiday season as well.

  3. Sending thoughts of gratitude for you and your post. This is the first pass through the holidays without both of my parents. I can feel the turmoil building but will keep them close in my heart. Many sweet blessings to you. May you be surrounded by their love.

    1. Sorry for your loss, and thanks. Just remember that they are always with you in spirit, though not with you physically anymore. I always get sad around their death dates every year, but God comforts me. May He comfort you now as well. I always feel them and their love around me protecting and guiding me. Sending my love and well wishes to you.

  4. Sorry for your loss this was a great post loved your ideas on how to deal with greif especially during the holidays loosing a loved one is never easy sending you positive vibes during the coming up holidays

  5. Sorry for your loss and I hope you are getting on ok during this holiday season. In all honest I lost a loved one only a couple days before you posted this up. I will definitely try your tips during this Christmas to cope. I hope that there might be some normalcy to you holidays this year.

    1. Thanks. I have been getting along okay this holiday season. Thanks for asking. It’s still hard every year though, and will never feel the same to me without them here to share it with. Sorry for your loss. My condolences. Thanks for the love. In all honesty, I took a year out of my life to grieve my sister because her death was unexpected (it didn’t take me that long to grieve mom because hers was expected), but you just lost your loved one. Don’t rush your grieving process. Take all the time you need. People will try to tell you certain dates that you should be over it, but only you get to decide that for yourself. May you come out on the other side of your grief just as strong, courageous, and with a new beautiful outlook on life as I did both times. 🙂😘

      1. I really appreciate this honestly I do. I’m working on my own grieving process every day just like you did. I know holidays are never the same but I admire how you strive to still make things good…I think this is the start of a good acquaintance between two bloggers. 😊❤️

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