Recently, I suffered a loss romantically. A man that I was talking to with the intention of dating confessed to me that he had already started dating someone else. Initially, I was heartbroken and devastated. Yet, as I talked to him further to try to decipher the reason why he chose to date her instead of me, I became upset and angry. His main reason was that I’m not independent enough for him: I don’t have my own car, place, or job (I decided to put off finding a job in my career field until after I’ve completed my third and final degree). As he explained further, I began to see how materialistic, vain, and focused on outward appearances he is. His love is also conditional. I need an unconditional kind of love, like the kind that Jesus displays for me. Just because a person seems to have it together outwardly financially and physically doesn’t mean that they have it together morally, mentally, and emotionally. Just because a person doesn’t seem to have anything good going for themselves doesn’t mean that they don’t have a good heart or character. After tossing and turning all night, thinking about the things he said, and deciding that I wasn’t wrong for feeling the way I felt, I realized something. I realized or rather remembered a lesson that I had already learned: to never change for a man or let them change or try to “fix” me. We all have issues and hang-ups, but there’s nothing wrong with me. I may not be where other people think I should be at this point in my life, but I’m right where God wants me to be. The last time I checked, he was and still is the only man that I try to please and change for daily. I worked too hard to become who I am today and to love and accept myself for who I am over the years to let a man come into my life demanding that I change my personality, hurry up and choose a career path, and fix parts of my life that he doesn’t like just so he’ll date me. If he can’t help me to grow as a person and support me and my dreams, then I don’t need him. I’d rather be an old maid and die single, because I’ll never change who I am as a person or rush God’s destiny and plan for my life just because a man feels that I’m not moving fast enough for him. God’s plans prevail in my life! If a person hasn’t walked a day in your shoes or know what God’s calling on your life is and what he told you to do, never let them tell you who to be or to change what God told you to do.
Happy October! (It’s my birthday month, you guys!)