Marriage and Children On My Mind

I’ll be turning 28 in October, and all around me my friends and family members are starting to settle down, get married, and have children. Meanwhile, I sit still waiting on God’s perfect timing and will to be done in my life. I’ve never really had a boyfriend, or gone out on a date before. I know this may seem sad to most people, but they don’t make good men like they used to, and I refuse to settle for less than what I deserve in a man just to say that I’ve gone out on a date. Yet, as the years go by, and my biological clock ticks slowly on, I’m starting to worry and wonder exactly what God’s plan and purpose for my love life is. It seems I’ve been successful in every other area and aspect of my life, but this one. I’d love to have a successful writing career some day, but my heart’s true desire is to have a love and family of my own. Recently, I’ve been talking on and off to a handsome young man who I believe could be my eventual life mate and soul mate, but the verdict’s still out on that one. I’ve made plans (a short 5-year plan to be exact) to adopt if I haven’t found love or gotten married by then, and I’m happy with that decision. Still, I know that it is not good that man should be alone. It pains me to even get so real and personal with you guys about my lifelong struggle with romantic love, but maybe my story can help someone else who struggles in the same area. When will I get married? When will I have children? These thoughts and questions keep replaying themselves in my mind, but I have no answers or solutions. I’m trusting God’s plan for my life. Sometimes, with a broken heart and tears in my eyes. Other times, coming so close to giving up on ever having a romantic love of my own. But God….


“Sometimes it hurts to talk about certain situations and circumstances in your life, but if you never talk about them, you’ll never heal”.


7 thoughts on “Marriage and Children On My Mind

  1. My heart reaches out to you. I admire your courage not to settle. There are times when I wish I’d had that kind of courage and wisdom, times when I settled, especially after the divorce and my self esteem was in the pits. I finally decided I was better off alone. In my first marriage, I had two children, one when I was 29 and my second when I was 37, so you have plenty of time, but it’s smart to have the adoption plan, too, because who knows, maybe that’s part of God’s plan. Part of my journey was to trust God’s plan, and I can tell you, that plan was, and is, GOOD! It took longer to unfold than I thought is should, but God has perfect timing. It’s really interesting that you mention that phrase, because in this very moment, I’m trying to decide whether to keep “Perfect Timing,” the working title I’ve had for my book for a few years, or go with “Trust the Timing” which came to me today. Anyway, Thanks for following my blog. I’m so glad to meet you. You might be interested in my friend Andrea’s blog, too: I look forward to reading more of your blog!

    1. My love story is definitely taking longer than I had expected that it would to unfold. Yet, I know that God’s promises may be delayed, but they’re never denied. I like the working title “Perfect Timing” for your book, instead of the other title. It’s nice to meet you too. Thanks for the love advice. I’ll check your friend’s blog out. Your love story with your high school sweetheart was beautiful and touching. I read about it. Thanks for following my blog as well!

  2. ashdapoet, you pretty much hit the hammer on the nail of what I plan to write about next month for you. In reading your heart above; I pray it doesn’t discourage you in what I write. But I understand totally how you feel; waiting on God can be a treacherous journey – but I am a living witness, I would rather wait than settle. I’ve had my share of settling and it’s no fun as its in those instances I think to myself “If I had only waited” – I also know that the “choices” of men that are left on this earth today are really not the grandest pick of the litter either and that too can become discouraging in asking God for a mate when everyone looks “wrong” – But I know God has someone for you, you may not believe it sometimes; but you’re actually in the best place right now. Continue to wait on God and focus on your awesome writing career – God loves you so much, he doesn’t want to just put you with anyone; he wants to give you the best he has and I believe he’s preparing the right man for you as I speak. Keep sharing your heart and your truths, someone is listening. Be Blessed, Talk Soon.

    1. Thanks, and yet there’s still so many hidden underlayers to my pain that I can’t talk about yet without crying. Maybe someday I’ll be able to talk about my full struggle with love and romance in this space.

  3. Here’s a silent salute for you! You are doing the right thing in not settling down just for the sake of it or just because everyone else your age is doing it. Being too picky is wrong but being with someone you are not sure of is worse! And since you have been successful in all the other things in your life I must say you have a wonderful life! love will arrive when it’s time until then just enjoy what you have and never feel you are missing out on something.

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